Tragic Star

nokturnooculto:

Obvio

(Source: crystalmethcupcakess)

October 11, 2011, 6:53am

sometimes you just choose not to see things as how they are because they hurt. maybe it is better to just stay in your own little world just so you’d feel safe.

December 20, 2010, 10:30am

this is what i feel right now :

there you are in the midst of my fairy tale, my wonderful prince charming promising himself to someone else…

December 16, 2010, 9:21am

you know that moment when you think you’ve got it all, that finally things are in their right places and just so perfect in your little wonderful world? and then some bitch comes along to slap you right back into bitter reality.

December 16, 2010, 9:20am

i was half-awake when you touched my hair and kissed me gently on the forehead. i have never felt so loved before, i have never felt it so real and it scares the shit out of me so don’t do it again.

August 04, 2010, 4:28am

i want to run away —-

i thought i could do it, i thought i could love — but then, here comes the bitter reality as usual and i was left alone once more.

i was afraid of anything he could offer and everything he could not. i was afraid to love him a little way too much, i was weak — and i just can’t accept it, i can’t live with the fact that here is a boy offering himself to me wholeheartedly and there i was cold as ice and couldn’t care less. i mean, what the fuck is wrong with me?

he tried to understand and i knew he endures all the pain. he kept silent, he never fought back. he just left me screaming and shouting, throwing and breaking whatever i can. he just watched me lose myself. after that he would clean all the mess i made, he would give me water to quench my thirst and he will hug me all through the night; making me feel secured, safe — right in his arms where i could cry myself to sleep. no, he never blamed me, he never said anything, he just kept on loving me despite.

maybe it was my fault (i was always at fault anycase), maybe he scared the shit out of me, maybe i wasn’t really ready. there were days when i’d tell him to fuck off, say hurtful things that i didnt really mean and tell him to come back and hug me once again. he was so in love with the crazy bitch me and it breaks my heart to see him suffer in silence…but i just can’t help it. i just can’t.

i ran away a million times so that i wouldn’t be his burden, but he always knew where to find me then carry me back home.

he loved me, i know and i loved him but then sometimes loving someone means you’ll have to let them go and let them grow their own wings — that is what he did.

December 09, 2009, 3:10am

i knew i was wrong when i fell in love with someone else when i was supposed to be madly in love with you. yes, i have given up something wonderful for something real — i had to — just so i can save myself from you.

it was over, you told me to back off and i did but of course i cannot deny the fact that i miss you terribly — you werent just my lover, you were a good friend and you know…you should know that i have loved you for all that i can.

i am sorry that i had this fucked up idea that you and him could be friends, i thought we could live happily together without tension, without looking back, without any more questions. i am sorry that i thought you could watch me and him fall in love — i never really thought you’d be hurt (yer, i guess i was being a selfish bitch). i am sorry i wasnt ready to give you up.

please dont look at me now with such sad eyes, you knew you couldnt offer me anything more anycase, you couldnt give me what i needed and i have accepted that, i have endured the pain. so please dont blame me for i am not blaming you.

sometimes, we are left with no option but to accept and let go. but please do not forget that i will be here for you.

December 05, 2009, 9:24pm

I am a girl who is confused about things regarding life. I have too many questions, too much to say, or too many ideas to ponder about. Let me tell you something about myself:

·          I am a very spontaneous person – meaning I do crazy stuff and most of the time, suffer a great deal of consequences.

·          No, I don’t have any regrets – because at that very moment that I am doing something crazy – I did fucking enjoyed it.

·          I am geographically fucked – maps never really liked me the way I liked them.

·          I like the sea, but I don’t like the living sea creatures, therefore, I don’t eat sea creatures.

·          I have a memory like that of a goldfish – 3 seconds. But trust me, my attention span is worse.

·          I cry whenever I am angry – that is the only emotion you can see and experience with me.

·          I love cooking, I enjoy sex, I do drugs every once in a while and no, I cannot live without alcohol.

·          I am always on nicotine overdose and I like beautiful pastries and fruit tarts.

·          I am a living contradiction and I have no patience at all – seriously.

·          I am one hell of a spoiled brat and yes I am a fucking super hero.

So you see, I am not really that complicated.

December 02, 2009, 11:08pm

I’ve finally learned how to let go of your hand. And you have decided to slowly drift away from me. (you actually think that’s a good idea?) well, people have their reasons and our reason is not because our love died but because it just kept on burning at the wrong circumstances.

I am sorry — I always tend to lose my grip when holding someone else’s hand starts to make me feel happy and secure.

You know how I am and you know how i just love chaos.

November 10, 2009, 2:44am